Visit Campeche; Poo where I have Poo’d

Yes, dearies, Campeche is a beautiful place to become ill with the amoebas that will invariably catch up with you. It is a well-cared-for, colorful, sunshiney colonial fort town on the Gulf-side of the Yucatan Peninsula. It has a rich history of pirating and Catholicism, including a marker for the very first mass ever delivered in the Americas. Wowza.

Don’t let unseasoned travelers make your reservations, or you will find yourself in an overpriced, windowless, echo-y tomb. But you already knew that, didn’t you?

You can’t swim in the gulf right in Campeche, but there is supposedly a wonderful island with dolphins and good beaches very near by. The amoebas and I didn’t make it that far.

You can walk on top of part of the fort wall – reconstructed, not original, obviously – pretending to be a soldier on the lookout for pirates. Or, better yet, a pirate who’s about to ransack the city. That happened, by the way. You can even ring the bell. Don’t be surprised when it is loud. Obviously. There is a black Jesus who miraculously made it to town in three days instead of three months (or something).

It’s really nice to walk along the malecón too; nice and breezy and lots of places to sit when the amoebas start to protest. There are statues and stuff scattered along, including La Novia del Mar. She’s a woman who believed a Latino pirate when he said he would return for her; she’s been there for a few hundred years. There’s also a depiction of a Spanish priest and a Spanish general congratulating themselves after successfully bamboozling a Mayan leader to give up his land and his life. Cheers.

Campeche is the home to the guayabera and other delightful linen clothes. There are loads of trinket stores too. It also boasts a good selection of pretty good food AND THE WORST SERVICE IN ALL OF MEXICO. Just remember that the amoebas exploding out of your body are in essence taking their revenge on the server on your behalf. Muah ah ah ah.

I recommend the guagua tour and many, many fresh-fruit paletas. Also a round or two of anti-amoeba medication; it’s cheap!

Where have the amoebas taken you?

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